Exchange of Rings Ceremony
Jewish-Jewish Wedding
(click here for a video of how to perform the ring ceremony in a Jewish-Jewish wedding)
When addressing a Woman and holding the ring on her right index finger*:
Harei Aht Mekudeshet Li b’Taba’at Zo k’Dat Moshe v’Yisrael
Behold—by this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife according to the laws of Moses and the People Israel
When addressing a Man and holding the ring on his right index finger*:
Harei Atah Mekudash Li b’Taba’at Zo k’Dat Moshe v’Yisrael
Behold—by this ring you are consecrated to me as my husband according to the laws of Moses and the People Israel
When accepting the Offer of Betrothal and transferring the ring to your left ring finger:
Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi Li
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine
Interfaith Wedding**
(click here for a video of how to perform the ring ceremony in an interfaith wedding)
When addressing a Woman and holding the ring on her right index finger*:
Harei Aht Mekudeshet Li b’Taba’at Zo k’Mesoret Moshe v’Yisrael
Behold—by this ring you are consecrated to me as my wife according to the traditions of Moses and the People Israel
When addressing a Man and holding the ring on his right index finger*:
Harei Atah Mekudash Li b’Taba’at Zo k’Mesoret Moshe v’Yisrael
Behold—by this ring you are consecrated to me as my husband according to the traditions of Moses and the People Israel
When accepting the Offer of Betrothal and transferring the ring to your left ring finger:
Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi Li
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine
*Note that in Hebrew the words change based on the gender of the person addressed—not the gender of the person speaking, so these blessings are the same whether the couple are the same gender or different genders.
The statement used when accepting the offer is:
a) a quote from Song of Songs
b) not a required part of the ring ceremony, though I typically use it whenever I officiate a wedding
c) gender-neutral, so it is the same no matter who is saying it
**In an interfaith wedding, I change 1 word in the betrothal ceremony—k’dat (according to the laws of) changes to k’mesoret (according to the traditions of). This change acknowledges that interfaith weddings are not sanctioned by current Jewish Orthodox law, but also recognizes that Moses’ wife wasn’t Jewish—in fact she was the daughter of a Midianite Priest—so we have plenty of precedent to stand on to sanction an interfaith wedding according to the tradition of Moses and the People Israel
Choosing a Rabbi for your Wedding
