Ceremonies

A Jewish Wedding

To this day, a Jewish wedding still seems to me one of the most beautiful ceremonies in existence.  The traditions, the joy, the sanctity, the community, the reverence for family and friends all come together to create that one special moment.

And, if we do our preparation correctly, the wedding itself will be both a symbol of Jewish tradition AND a symbol of you as a couple.

Click here for information on my Marriage Preparation programs

I look forward to speaking with you, helping prepare for your marriage, and helping plan your sacred day!

Click here to contact me

Click here for a fee schedule

What’s in a Jewish Wedding?

Here is a brief overview of the most common traditions in a Jewish wedding.  But remember, only the Ketubah, Chuppah, Ring, and 7-Blessings are required.  Other than that, we get to design everything together, just the way the two of you want it! 

Click on any highlighted item to jump to its description:

click here for a sample wedding program that describes these traditions.
I will be happy to provide an editable copy of this program to any couple I'm working with

click here for a checklist of what you'll need to bring to the wedding for the ceremony.

A recommended source for Ketubahs is www.MPArtworks.com  
Type in the following DISCOUNT CODE to receive 10% off and also have them donate 20% of  your purchase to charity:
RRMF3H10YZ1B81

Chuppah (Canopy)

The wedding canopy under which Bride and Groom are married recalls the biblical tent of Sarah and Abraham. The open sides symbolize the openness of the bride and groom’s home, where all may feel welcome, and recognition that every Jewish home is part of a community. The covering signifies that the couple will always be protected by God's canopy of peace, throughout their marriage.

Tish/Bedeken

Tish is Yiddish for “table”.  Gathering with the most intimate group of family and friends, the groom (and today the bride as well) gather and share some thoughts about their wedding (often reflecting on the week’s Torah portion and its meaning for the couple). The custom of bedeken (veiling) recalls the predicament of Jacob who thought he was marrying Rachel only to discover, after the ceremony, that he had married Leah. The veiling of the bride makes her hekdesh (set apart in holiness) and symbolizes what the groom values most in her. Beauty may fade with time but the woman's spiritual qualities are something she will never lose. The veil, which physically separates bride and groom, also serves to remind them that they remain distinct individuals even as they unite in marriage. The “pre-ceremony” concludes as the Bride, Groom, witnesses, and Rabbi sign the ketubah (wedding covenant).

Erusin (Betrothal)

Originally recited up to one full year before the wedding, the blessing of Erusin (betrothal), which obligates the couple to one another, has now become one of the opening blessings of the marriage ceremony. After the blessing, the first of two cups of wine are shared by Bride and Groom, symbolizing the joy of their betrothal to one another.

Exchange of Rings

The exchange of rings anchors the Erusin portion of the ceremony. The solid unbroken bands represent the unity and harmony of a marriage, which like a ring, has no end. In Jewish wedding ceremonies, the rings are placed on the right index fingers because it is believed that the index finger is connected directly to the heart. The act of transferring the ring from the right index finger to the left ring finger demonstrates that an offer of betrothal, even in ancient times, was not valid unless accepted.
(click here for the full wording of the ring ceremony)

(click here for a video of how to do the ring ceremony when both participants are Jewish)

(click here for a video of how to do the ring ceremony when one participant is Jewish and one is not)

Ketubah

The Ketubah is a marriage contract that defines the reciprocal responsibilities between husband and wife. Just prior to the marriage ceremony, Bride and Groom signed their Ketubah, before witnesses, demonstrating their covenant with each other.  The ketubah is read publicly now as public evidence of that covenant.

N’suin (Marriage)

The Nisuin portion of the ceremony is the actual marriage itself. Bride and Groom now share in a second cup of wine from the special Kiddush cup specifically used for the first time at their wedding. They will drink the wine blessed in this cup as a symbol of their love and joy in sharing their lives together.

The Sheva B'rachot (7 Blessings)

The traditional seven blessings reserved for groom and bride anchor the Nisuin (marriage) portion of the ceremony and formally create the union. These blessings are chanted in praise of God for the creation of humanity, as well as for God's protection and guidance over the bride and groom who have pledged themselves to each other by the laws and traditions of Judaism, and a final blessing amplifying the joy the couple brings to their community.  
(click here for contemporary translations of the 7 Blessings)
(click here for a literal translation and transliteration of the Hebrew)

Breaking of the Glass

The ceremony concludes when the groom breaks the glass. The tradition has many explanations. Some say the shattering glass reminds us of shattering times in Jewish history, and reminds Bride and Groom that in their life there will be shattering moments. Some say it comes from a medieval custom to ward off evil spirits. Others say it demonstrates those most fragile aspects of marriage which would be as difficult to repair as a shattered cup.  Regardless of its origins, the tradition is the most pervasive symbol of a Jewish wedding, and elicits the response “Mazal Tov”—literally “good stars [to you]!”

Yichud (Unity)

Yichud is a wonderful Hebrew word simultaneously meaning singularity and togetherness, the Bride and Groom will take a brief time alone immediately following the ceremony to reflect upon their love for one another and the meaning of the what has just taken place.

I look forward to speaking with you!

-Rabbi Yitzi